Henry's Birth Story

This time we were ready.  When we were expecting our first baby, Calvin, our hearts were ready, our birth supplies were ready, but so many other things were not! I thought I still had 4 more weeks to unpack the baby shower gifts, wash the baby clothes and receiving blankets, set up and organize the changing table, etc. etc… So this time, we got everything ready early. We had it all done by 36 weeks: newborn clothes and blankets washed and organized, changing table stocked with tiny diapers, bassinet made up with a clean sheet, freezer stocked with casseroles, fridge stocked with coconut water, birth supplies gathered and organized, and the apartment sparkling clean. Our hearts, heads, and home were ready for our second son.

Homebirth supplies ready and waiting!

But at the same time we didn’t want him to be born early – at least not too early. During week 35 and 36 James and my mom (who had come from Atlanta to stay with us) did everything around the house so that I could take it easy in the hopes of avoiding pre-term labor. Well, those weeks passed by, we had our birth team meeting during week 36, and we made it to week 37: that magical milestone of being “full-term.”

Once I had made it that far I was thinking, “Ok, baby! We did it! Feel free to be born now!” I started trying to be more active, to get out of the house more and find excuses to walk around in the hopes of getting labor to start. But week 37 also passed by… and week 38… and week 39… I had never been that pregnant before and I hadn’t experienced the anticipation of knowing that the baby could come any day and wishing he would!

This was taken on our sixth wedding anniversary, July 7th. I was 39 weeks pregnant!

My due date, July 11, came and went. The next day, I had made plans to take Calvin to the zoo with some of my friends and their babies. It did cross my mind that a day of walking around the zoo might help get labor started. It also wasn't a coincidence that I requested spicy Hunan Chinese food for dinner that night.

Maybe our zoo tour did the trick because even before I had a bite of hot smoked ham, my water broke! It was 7:30 in the evening. I called our midwife Michelle and she said labor would likely start within 24 hours and she asked us to call her as soon as I started having strong contractions. I was already feeling contractions, but they were mild. James and I made up the bed for labor: clean sheets first, then a waterproof liner over them, then another fitted sheet on top… that way when cleaning up after the birth, the midwives can just pull the top sheet and liner off and the bed is already made to tuck in the cleaned-up mama and baby! Then we put Calvin to sleep in his crib and ate our spicy Hunan dinner with my mom. We even watched a movie: Sunset Boulevard. Kind of a weird choice, I know! James and I were starting to make our way through IMDB’s list of top 250 films and Sunset Boulevard was one of the films we hadn’t seen yet.

By 9:30pm I could tell the contractions were getting stronger and more regular so James texted Michelle, but I didn’t think she should come just yet. We finished the movie and went to bed. But since we knew labor was starting, my mom took Calvin to sleep upstairs with her. I didn’t want Calvin present during labor or the birth. I felt that it would be scary for him.

James and I didn’t really sleep during the next few hours, but we laid in bed and rested and when the surges came, I would move around trying to find a more comfortable position and James would help me by bringing me things like the stability ball or water, or by rubbing my back, or just being with me.

By 3am the contractions were coming 5 minutes apart so James contacted Michelle again and she headed over along with Sue, our other midwife who would assist Michelle during the birth. When they arrived Michelle did a quick check of all my vitals: temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate. She also checked the baby’s heartbeat with the fetal doppler. Henry and I were both doing well.

We all mostly slept through the next few hours. Although my contractions had been strong and close at 3am, they became less intense and more spaced out. I was able to nap in-between, and I tried to let James get some rest. The midwives slept on our living room couches, although I don’t think Michelle really slept – she was listening to me from there to monitor my contractions and every time I went out to use the bathroom (which was often!) she would stop me to take my temperature and check the baby’s heartbeat with her fetal doppler.

Around 7:30 in the morning, the contractions got stronger again and more frequent. By about 8am I was in active labor. I asked James to get my mom so that she could be with us for the birth. She left Calvin in the care of our cousin Hartley upstairs. I was struggling to find a position that made the painful contractions more bearable. Michelle and Sue were suggesting that I get on my hands and knees, but it just didn’t feel better. Michelle even suggested putting the stability ball on the bed and this ended up working for me. I knelt on the bed and leaned forward with my head and shoulders on the ball. James stayed with me. At times he would hold me, or talk to me, or just sit with me. My mom sat in the room with us in a chair by the bed. And the midwives, as far as I could tell, came in and out setting up supplies, checking on me, and offering help if I wanted it.

This went on for about two hours and I was starting to get worried about how long this labor was going to last. It is said that the “transition” phase of labor is when women often begin to doubt themselves and feel exhausted and frustrated. I remember experiencing that during my labor with Calvin and I remember realizing later that I was actually really close to the end. This time I wasn’t quite as close, but once again during transition I found myself saying “I can’t… I can’t…” which really meant I’m tired… I don’t want to do this anymore. Honestly, I think transition is the hardest part of labor. It is the last part of active labor and thankfully it doesn’t last very long, but for me it was the most intense and painful part of the experience of childbirth both times.

At last I was ready to push and again I struggled a bit with finding a position that felt right. Mostly I wanted to hang on to James for dear life. The midwives had me kneel on the bed and James sat with me so I could lean on him. James and my mom both say that what they remember most vividly about the birth was me screaming as I was pushing! It wasn’t really screaming, though. Not screaming in pain, but more like crying out in effort. More like yelling. It wasn’t because of pain or fear. It felt good to yell out. It felt like it gave me more strength to push. But I even surprised myself with how loud I was! I wonder if our neighbors heard me!

The pushing stage lasted about half an hour. For the last few minutes, I remember that I just wanted it to be over so I could rest and hold my baby but Michelle and Sue encouraged me to slow down and not push too hard. When Henry started coming out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck (called a nuchal cord), but it was not compressed and Michelle has lots of experience delivering babies with a nuchal cord. She repositioned him as he came out to prevent the cord from being pulled tight and it was no problem. She immediately passed the baby to me and I lay down to rest with Henry in my arms at last!

Henry gave us a bit of a scare in his first few moments… He wasn’t breathing right away, so Michelle and Sue rubbed him down and cleaned him up to stimulate him and he started breathing on his own. He was soon able to latch and breastfeed. His poor little forehead was bruised from the delivery and it took about a week for the bruising to fully disappear. Within that first hour, Henry also had a slightly low temperature, sweating, and rapid breathing. These symptoms are associated with hypoglycemia in newborns so usually the cure is to get them fed quickly. Since my colostrum was just coming in, we decided to ask our friend Rachel to bring over some of her breastmilk for Henry so that we could help him get a full tummy of food. And that is how Rachel, along with her husband, Ben and son, Sagan, ended up being invited over on the day Henry was born! In the meantime, I nursed him, we put him under a heating pad to bring up his temp, and we wiped away his little drops of sweat. He showed improvement immediately, but it was a few hours before those symptoms completely resolved.

After more than an hour of snuggling with Henry and letting him nurse, Michelle clamped the cord and James cut it. Michelle took Henry to do the newborn exam and Sue helped me get myself cleaned up. 

Newborn exam

Then, tucked into our clean bed with the new baby, we were ready to invite Calvin down to meet his brother. My mom brought Calvin down from upstairs just after Rachel, Ben, and Sagan had arrived so the bedroom was getting quite crowded. Calvin was definitely curious about tiny Henry, but he was also distracted by the fact that his buddy Sagan was there! We got some nice first photos of our family of four.

When Calvin met Henry

"Kiss the baby!"

Then we spent some time just hanging out and enjoying new baby Henry. We fed him a few mLs of Rachel’s milk with a spoon. Our friends didn’t stay too long. Michelle stayed until all Henry’s vitals normalized and remained stable: normal temp, normal breathing rate, and no more sweating.

Michelle, Sagan, Rachel, Henry, Calvin, and Ben

Ben, Sagan, Henry, and Me

Michelle, James, Henry, and Sue

Calvin and Granny Anne

In the evening, my aunt, Mila came to see us along with my cousin, Pam. Hartley also came down at that time. They were surprised at how clean and well I looked and I said, “Well, I took a shower…” and they were like “WHAT?! You took a SHOWER?!” Apparently there is a Filipino superstition tradition that a new mother is not supposed to shower right after having the baby! Haha. Oops!

The labor was harder and longer than with my first baby. Henry was bigger! It took more effort to help him out! Comparing the photos of me immediately after both births, it is clear that after Henry’s birth I was completely exhausted. My eyes are barely open. But even though it was harder, I am very thankful that Henry and I both had a safe birth and that Henry’s minor health concerns cleared up in those first few hours. I am also very thankful that I got to birth in my own home, attended by my wonderful midwives, with my husband and mom there for support.

I’ve already shared a glimpse of Henry’s first week. My parents went home to Georgia on the 24^th and since then, James and I have been figuring out how to be a family of 4 with a newborn. We are exhausted and sleep-deprived, but we are so happy to be blessed with these two boys.

Ready for Baby Brother

We did it! I have officially made it "to term" with Baby Brother! I am now 37 weeks pregnant and although my due date is July 11 (due dates are set at 40 weeks), 37 weeks is considered full term. 37-42 weeks is generally considered to be the window for a safe home birth. There is always the possibility of a hospital transfer, but so far (Thank God) I have been blessed to have a healthy, uncomplicated, low-risk pregnancy and all signs point to us actually getting to have a home birth this time around. (Calvin was born in the hospital because he was "late pre-term" at 36 weeks and there can be a big difference between 36 and 37 weeks when it comes to tiny babies.)

For me, the choice to have a home birth is about how I'd like to experience bringing this baby into the world. I want it to be safe for both of us, of course, so if there is any indication that a home birth is no longer a safe option I will not hesitate to go to the hospital just as we did the last time. But I also want the experience to be  private, intimate, and comfortable. I want to be surrounded by just a few people who know and love me and have personal interest in my well-being and the baby's well-being.

I am so fortunate to live in a place where home birth is a viable, safe, and legal option for me because there are awesome trained and experienced midwives who are legally allowed to practice in California (at least for now... but that is another story). And I am extra lucky to have Michelle Welborn as my midwife again! She is amazing.

Michelle and Calvin... just 14 months ago!

I am hoping that this baby will have an early July birthday (I'd like to get another month between him and Calvin if possible!) but the truth is he could come any day now! So here are some things we've done around our home to get ready for his arrival...

Supplies for a home birth

When I was learning about home birthing and midwifery I was surprised at how much medical stuff midwives are actually able to do in homes! To prepare for the birth it was our job as the parents to order/gather some of the supplies and have them organized and accessible. The supplies include things like sterile gloves, "Chux" pads (waterproof pads and sheets, just like in the hospital), sterile gauze, a blood-typing kit, towels, sheets, receiving blankets, a heating pad, garbage bags, and a bunch of other stuff. In addition, Michelle will bring her usual med supplies like her fetoscope, fetal doppler, thermometer, and blood pressure monitor; plus more medical supplies for the birth including IV kits, IV bags with fluids and antibiotics, medications to help stop bleeding after the birth (the same ones used in hospitals), newborn medications (again, same as in the hospital), a suture kit, a kit to do the newborn blood screen, a scale to weigh the baby, and so on and so on.

I also stocked up on coconut water to keep myself hydrated during labor!

Speaking of stocking up... the freezer in the garage is now stocked with food for the week or two following the birth. I figure we'll all be busy and I'll probably be in bed with the baby most of the time so it will be helpful to have meals (and take-out menus!) on hand. A couple of weeks ago I started doubling my recipes and saving half so now we've got some soups and casseroles ready and waiting.

We've got the bassinet set up again in the bedroom, and the changing table is now stocked with newborn diapers in addition to Calvin's supply.

This bassinet has been in my family for over 50 years. My mom likes to recall all the babies (including myself and herself) who have slept in this bassinet!

Look how teeny the newborn diapers are! Of course, they will both be able to use our adjustable Bumgenius diapers, but we like to keep disposable diapers on hand too. 

The newborn and 0-3 month clothes are unpacked and washed, and I made space for them in the changing table cabinet. Calvin has his new big boy convertible car seat so our infant seat is free for the new baby.

I realize that Calvin is tiny for a big brother, but still! He's come a long way from those little newborn onesies... and he even started out in preemie onesies!

Aaaah! I can't believe we'll have another tiny, mushy baby boy here soon! I'm so excited for him to arrive, but I am still hoping for July! I wish I could fast forward a couple of weeks! 

Surprise Spa Baby Shower!

I am feeling super spoiled this month! Last Sunday, my dear friends Jaime and Rachel threw me a surprise baby shower at Revel Spa in San Francisco!

I love the idea of surprise parties, but I thought I would never get to have one because I am always really excited to plan my own birthday parties and even our anniversary and holiday celebrations. So I am especially thrilled that I got to experience such an awesome surprise baby shower!

I did know that Jaime and Rachel were talking - more like whispering - about throwing me a baby shower, but I didn't actually realize they intended it to be a surprise party. I figured that eventually they would ask me for a guest list or to set a date or something and when May rolled in and I hadn't heard anything I figured they were really busy and that maybe it wasn't going to happen. I mean, they are busy women with babies of their own.

So when Rachel texted me asking if I wanted to join her to go shopping on Sunday I didn't think anything of it. She said their afternoon plans had fallen through and that one of our favorite kids consignment stores was having a sale. She suggested that our husbands could take our sons for a stroller walk in nearby Golden Gate Park while we shopped. Sounded totally reasonable to me. The fact that she was suggesting that her toddler ride in a stroller during his nap time should have been a red flag, but I am a very trusting person and I was ready to believe that maybe Sagan could nap in his stroller after all.

The store happens to be around the corner from a restaurant that James and I really like so I told Rachel that we would have lunch there first and meet up with them afterward. It felt like my idea.

This happened to be the day after we took the maternity pics at Montara Beach and so James says to me that morning, "Why don't we take a few more photos in the park after you guys go shopping?" He said this knowing that I would always be up for another photo shoot and that it would cause me to get dressed up (so I would look nice for the shower, but I didn't know that at the time!). So I picked out a sundress and insisted on choosing coordinating shirts for him and for Calvin. I thought time wasn't a big deal because shopping and going for a walk aren't exactly time sensitive. Because of that, I made us late and inadvertently made myself late for the shower!

Some of the ladies getting started on their mani/pedis before I arrived.

Late or not, we had lunch at Social Kitchen & Brewery as planned and a couple more slightly weird things happened that should have tipped me off... James parked at a meter and I said it would make more sense to look for free parking if we were going to be around for the afternoon. He said there wouldn't be any parking and he'd rather just pay. That would never have happened normally. He would have made us walk blocks and blocks rather than pay the meter under normal circumstances. But I ignored it. During lunch, Rachel texted me saying that she ran into our friend Becca who had a salon appointment and that she was going to hang out at the salon with Becca until I was finished eating while Sagan was asleep in the car and Ben (her husband) was with him. It did occur to me that it was a pretty weird coincidence to run into Becca, but again I am very trusting and gullible so I bought it. After lunch I told James that I would walk over to meet Rachel and that he should text Ben to find him and we'd just re-connect later after Rachel and I went shopping (again, still believing the entire fake plan for the day). But James insisted on walking me over to the salon which I thought was unnecessary, but I went with it.

The way this salon is set up, there is an entry room with a sitting area, register, and counter for choosing polishes. There are two large doorways that lead into the room where the magic happens and they can be closed from view with curtains. So when we walked in, there was one woman there to greet us but I couldn't see who else was inside. I was expecting her to ask if I was there for a manicure and I was all ready to explain that I was just there to meet a friend, but instead she told us that someone was waiting for me. And I'm thinking, "Ok good, Rachel and Becca told her I was coming."

She pulled back the curtain and I saw Rachel sitting inside... as expected... but then I saw my friend Laura who lives like half an hour away and a wrinkle of confusion creased my forehead. As I scanned the room the next person that registered in my brain was my cousin Pam... and the wrinkle deepened. I am so glad that no one got a picture of my face at that moment because I probably looked totally confused and lost! But quickly (at least I hope it was quickly!) I realized that this was in fact my baby shower and I don't remember what I did exactly, but I hope I smiled or laughed or at least did something somewhat graceful because I was totally in shock!

Trying to regain composure and choose polish colors :) I was still giddy from the surprise!

The element of surprise was a total success! And the spa baby shower was awesome. What a great idea for a baby shower. Everyone was pampered with manicures and pedicures, Jaime and Rachel served sparkling drinks (non-alcoholic, of course) and yummy treats including a homemade chocolate cake from Jaime, and no one had to play cheesy party games.

The real cake...

...and a diaper cake! Also made by Jaime, and decorated with goodies for the new baby and me!

 James and Calvin stayed long enough to say hello to everyone and snap a few photos. And it turned out to be ok that I was late. A few people were still having their nails done and two of my cousins arrived after me.

Since we are having another boy and we don't need more baby clothes or toys, Rachel, Jaime, and James arranged for my friends and family to chip in to buy us this awesome double stroller that I have been drooling over for months! It's the Contours Options LT Tandem Stroller in Valencia yellow and after much research and online shopping for double strollers it is the one I had my heart set on. Thank you so much to everyone who helped out with this gift! We are so grateful!! And I am so excited to have this stroller!!

And of course a HUGE THANK YOU to Jaime and Rachel for planning and pulling off this special day for me, and to my husband James for aiding and abetting them to make it possible. Thank you to my dear friends and cousins for coming to celebrate, and to all the husbands and grandparents who took care of babies that day so that my friends and cousins could make it :)

Maternity Photos at Montara Beach

This month is turning out to be very busy for our family and I am so thankful that James is recovered enough to enjoy some nice family outings... and, yes, I'm also very happy that he has been well enough to pamper me a little since May happens to be the month for Mother's Day and my birthday, and we're getting close to my own personal labor day ;) I'm not going to hide it, I'm loving the attention.

Speaking of loving attention, I do love a family photo shoot! And I think pregnancy is a great excuse for one. We managed to take these photos at 32 weeks in my pregnancy - last year I was already 36 weeks along with Calvin and I went into labor that night!

I decided that I wanted to take beach photos again so we went a bit south to Montara Beach. My cousin Pamela came with us to help out with Calvin and to take some pictures for us. It was breezy and a bit chilly, as the beaches tend to be here in Northern California, but it wasn't too cold. It was also cloudy, but I'm still quite happy with how the photos turned out!

Thank you , thank you, thank you to James for being our family photographer, to Pam for being our photographer's assistant for the day, and to Calvin for being such a good sport the whole time!

May Flowers for Mother's Day

I hope all the wonderful mamas I am lucky enough to know had a great Mother's Day last week! I got to spend the day with my sweet husband and son enjoying gorgeous weather, blooming gardens, and the breezy beach.

We went to Filoli where the gardens were in full spring splendor and a special storybook-themed flower show was being held in the manor. The flower show featured arrangements crafted by floral artists and inspired by classic children's books like C.S. Lewis' Alice in Wonderland  and Beatrix Potter's The Tale of Peter Rabbit. I am sorry to say that we didn't get any photos of the storybook flowers. It was a bit crowded, and we had Calvin in arms - plus James is still in a sling and hand brace. Those are my excuses for not having pictures of the flower show to share!

But as we walked through the gardens James took some nice photos of me and Calvin and I am very happy to have some pretty pictures of my seven-months-pregnant self to show off :) We also got some sweet pictures of James and Calvin.

31 Weeks

Calvin is touching a tiny caterpillar. Right after this picture was taken, he picked it up and threw it on the ground!
Guess he wasn't a fan!

Calvin is watching the musician onstage in this picnic area at Filoli. 

After touring the gardens and flower show, we weren't ready to call it a day yet so we drove through the mountains to the coast and went to a beach in Half Moon Bay.

We ended the day with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, the Half Moon Bay Brewing Co. restaurant. I know a brewery seems like a strange choice for a pregnant mama on Mother's Day, but I really do like it there whether or not I get to drink the beer ;) I had this amazing bread pudding for dessert... sourdough soaked in coconut milk and drizzled with caramel... mmmm... what a treat! Happy Mother's Day to me!